A blog about everything I love! From Astronomy to music and everything in between. I cover 'sudoscience' - We've got aliens, and conspiracy theories, disclosure, want to ascend? Me too..... Then I spin it the whole other way and give you 'factual science' with cool stuff I've been learning at university. I share choice music, books, funny websites, silly hobbies, people, fun and food. Join me on a crazy ride through my life on this wonderful planet we call Earth!

Monday, 29 June 2015

A note from Cathy Kelly

It Started With Paris paperback out soon

It Started with Paris pb lowresHello everyone…isn’t this new look so exciting? A beautiful blue for the beautiful new cover of It Started With Paris in paperback, out very, very soon…July 2nd!! If you want to escape into a world of other peoples' tangled lives (so much more fun than your own tangled life!), find out if single mom, Vonnie, can find love – despite everything; find out if Grace can cope with seeing her ex-husband more all the time because he older son’s got engaged; and find out if sassy Leila is ever going to get over her cheating husband, then tune in. Throw in a cake-making business, a lovely primary school, a sweet dog with an adoring canine boyfriend, and a family wedding and you have the perfect book for your downtime. 
And it all starts with a romantic engagement on top of the Eiffel Tower!

Over the next few weeks, we’ll have competitions and more info for you and do tell me all about your fabulous engagement stories.

I have just finished my newest book, Between Sisters, coming in October and am down timing myself…
Actually, I am consumed with guilt because I feel as if I should be doing something – tidying airing cupboards, sorting out my desk (tidy desk is the sign of a sick mind and all that) and replying to the zillion emails (sorry everyone!) I haven’t got round to with the editing.

I am, instead, watching House of Cards, drooling over things I would never be able to make on Pinterest (nobody told me how addictive it is) and lying down in the back garden with the Puplets in the sun, who feel this is clearly a sign that I want my face washed with special puppy-washing-power. If you bury your head in your arms, they just dig – they are digging dogs.

OK, so I will do all outstanding emails tomorrow, OK? Does that count…?

Hugs and love,

Cathy.

- See more at: http://www.cathykelly.com/notes/it-started-with-paris-paperback-out-soon#.dpuf

It's not me it's you!

To make it even less possible to say no, it was the night before Emma disappeared for the hen marathon in Rome. She had to be up at Oh Fuck o'clock to go to Stansted, and yet she was out on the lash. Emma's energy reserves were truly Hurculean.

Creative writing - how too

I found this and thought it might be of interest :-)




Writing something creatively is not an easy task, especially if one has to write something which stands out to be different from others. The leader must always adopt quality as an operational philosophy and try to write both the bad news along with the goods for a topic along with facts. There is neither a Holy Grail nor the writer can find a magic silver bullet which can help him to write creatively. There are certain efforts to be made which are discussed below.

 

Vision: A person can become a lead writer by communicating his/her vision to the audience in a clear and distinctive manner. There must be something in the writing, which is able to grab the attention of the readers.
 

Independence: A leader must also focus on writing something without any fears. This will result in better creativity and the writer can make use of free will to write upon any topic.
 

Experimentation: A true writer must also never become afraid of experimenting new ideas in the work.If there is something which is right and is to be revealed in front of others, then it should be written accordingly.
 

Support for failure: A writer always has a leadership quality in him if the experimentation is supported along with failure. Innovation is always encouraged in work when adequate support is provided to the innovator for any sort of failure.
 

Develop a sense of family: A writer can become a good writer if there is a feeling that whatever is written is for the betterment of the audience. This betterment always produces results if it is for the benefit of the community.

Rhythm in writing: A well written paper is always highly appreciated. If the paper is written in rhythm, then there are better chances of it being recognized.

Passion: A passionate writer is also recognized among others. Writing something which is based on true facts is a quality of a leader and it always gives good results.

Intensity: An essay paper which is produced with full concentration is always considered to be the best among others. It shows that the writer has put much effort into the task and there is more admiration of such work.
 

Enthusiasm: The final quality which distinguishes a usual writer with the one who is considered to be the leader is that the writer always shows personal interest and fervor for the topic on which the writing is done.


For more of the article click the link below.

http://snapjudgment.org/how-be-leader-creative-writing-tips-beginners

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Her

She was beautiful. Not perfectly, conventionally so, but that only made her more compelling. You could quite easily see how men could fall under her spell. She looked like the lines in a fashion designers sketch. But most of all, it was her attitude. The larky, humerious, totally at ease in her own skin swagger that made her!





It's not me it's you

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Exert from a book by Mhairi McFarlane

Parsnip was a tatty old incontinent Labrador-spaniel cross they'd got from a deuce centre, seven years ago. 
"We can't place this one, he pisses," the man had told them, as they stroked his sad, googly eyed, snaggle-toothed Parsnip.
"Could that be because you tell people he pisses?" Paul said.
"We have to," the man replied. "Otherwise you'll just bring him back. His name should be Boomerang, not Parsnip."
'No bladder control and named after a root vegetable Poor sod," Paul said, and sighed, looking at Delia. "I think he's coming home with us, isn't he?'

It's not me, it's you!


Monday, 22 June 2015

High standards.....

I'm trying to do things right now that aren't bad for me...... 


Wednesday, 17 June 2015

The Grand Conspiracy Against Publishing Your Book


Huff Post is proving to be a gold mine when it comes to interesting little articles about writing, books and publishing. As a writer I try and read as much information I can on writing and love getting others writers tips and ideas and experiences. It's all a learning experience and one I fully plan on utilising throughout my writing career.


Here's a post that anyone planning on getting a book published might be interested in.


Here's what I believed when I was trying to get my first publishing deal:

There is a cabal of writers and publishers purposefully keeping me out. Every successful writer is part of this cabal. They know who I am and they hate what I write because it is too good and they feel threatened by me and my work. I'm just too brilliant. Too edgy. Too innovative and new.

Of course, I never verbalized this or said it in my head in this specific way or perhaps I would've realized how ridiculous and narcissistic and petty it sounds. But there was always a feeling of something being incredibly unfair, and if I give words to that feeling, then that is the feeling and those are the words, however delusional they may sound now. I never realized, at the time, how much comfort there was inside that feeling because it absolved me completely of any and all responsibility for my success or failure.

What did it matter how well I wrote? How hard I tried? Why bother rewriting anything? Why look for the cracks in what I'd already done? There was a vast conspiracy against me and my book and so, nothing was my fault. I was already perfect.

It is so incredibly tempting to take the power out of your own hands and put it in someone else's. It's terrifying to accept that what you write and how good it is, is ultimately up to you, because then you have to accept that maybe your first novel (all 80 000 words of it) isn't good enough and maybe you have to start again from scratch. Maybe your writing hasn't found an audience yet because, maybe, that audience doesn't exist. Maybe the people who read it just don't like it.

All those maybes are hard, painful things just to consider, let alone act upon. But the best writers I know not only entertain those thoughts, they sigh, roll their eyes and start again. They wake up feeling completely and utterly despondent, and then they go to work. The worst, on the other hand, often aren't writers for long and if they are, they spend their time going to seminars and endlessly trawling through articles looking for tricks, for the right agent, publishing secrets and quick and easy tips -- something, anything that doesn't involve actually going back and doing the work -- and it is work. Ask not for motivation. Ask for discipline. 

Here's the only real tip, trick or secret to writing: 

You have to actually enjoy the act of writing, not the idea of being a writer, not the respect and awe you believe you'll command as a writer, not the romance of tapping away at a typewriter or signing someone's book -- you have to love the numbing, horrible, finicky hard work of sitting there with sentences and paragraphs and pages, working out how to make each and every word sing its own song. The act of writing anything, a novel or a poem, is only slightly more pleasurable than it is laborious, and if you are a writer, you chase that little bit. You slave on, chasing. But if you've got that, then everything else stops mattering as much because that little, tiny bit is there every single time you sit down in front of a keyboard or a notepad. And it's enough.

That's it. It's 2015. There are a million different ways to find your audience, if they exist. You just have to give them a good enough reason to, find you.

The plain and simple reality is it's hard to get someone to read a book, let alone buy one. The process of becoming a writer, as a profession, is hard work and takes a long time and luckily, none of that matters if you enjoy the act of what you're doing. And while sexism, racism and phobias of all kinds are real and terrible and should be revealed and stamped out wherever they're found, all the writers and publishers I've met, didn't have a single thing against me, or you.

And while that's scary, it's also really, really, really good news.

Good luck.

The Most Ridiculous Sexual Phrases From Romance Novels

I was on Facebook doing my usual once a day browse through my feed and see what my friends have been up too. Luckily I also follow a lot of random pages and groups that provide me with much entertainment. These pages and groups vary considerably and can be anything from authors I'm in love with to mums who pen hilarious antidotes of their daily lives. 

On this particular occasion I found this little gem through a huff post post and thought I would share :)



Why can't we just say ... *whisper* penis and vagina?

Romance novels have a language and style all their own. Though they contain sex scenes, they've always aimed to be more tasteful than your standard pornography fare. Hence, the flowery descriptors for male and female genitalia and sexuality. Romance novels are the proper, eloquent statesman to pornography's grunting caveman.

What makes romance novels so much fun on a comedic level is just how creative the authors often get with the language. What do you say when you don't want to mutter penis or vagina?

Blogger John Ferri found the humor in romance novels, as well. His wife is a fan of the genre and after reading a few himself, Ferri started compiling lists of some of the more hilarious sexual descriptions.

WARNING: Blushing and junior high-level giggling ahead.


Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Big word of the week

Sedulous - hardworking and careful; persevering; painstaking.


Macquarie Pocket Dictionary




Http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gold-digger-tara-anderton/1120500875?ean=9781618973665 

http://www.amazon.com/Gold-Digger-Tara-Anderton/dp/1618973665/ref=la_B00QOS1DKI_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424320415&sr=1-1 


Spray tan woes!

'The chain was a last resort. But that bizarrely coloured woman wasn't going to let me see you.'
'You carry a chain around with you?'
'Only for emergencies,' said Sian, as if that explained everything.
'What is that woman anyway? Half human, half citrus fruit?'





Sunday, 14 June 2015

Gold Digger

If you have read this blog before you might already know that I've written a novel called Gold Digger. It's a contemporary romance and it's amazing obviously. You can check it out at

Http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gold-digger-tara-anderton/1120500875?ean=9781618973665 

Or 

http://www.amazon.com/Gold-Digger-Tara-Anderton/dp/1618973665/ref=la_B00QOS1DKI_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424320415&sr=1-1 


You can add it and date it on Goodreads and you can also view and purchase it on my author website http://www.sbpra.com/taraanderton 






The opening lines to a ghostwriting project I'm working on.....

I sprinted towards the terminal, dark hair flying, bags dragging like lead weights behind me as I crush toes of unsuspecting travellers.

“I’m late!” I scream at a lady who is protesting as she clutches her foot. I run around a line of happy travellers checking in and slam into the desk? I thrust my plane ticket at the bewildered ground staffer who is apologising to the man who was halfway to her counter. She turns to me with a disapproving look on her face.

‘You’re very late! I’m not sure if they will let you on.” She types in my details and pauses looking at me with that  look again. It was  totally unneeded at that point, I was close to tears and then she adds;  “The final call was about five minutes ago!” My eyes scan the attendants screwed up mouth thinking it looked like a dried prune,  and it dawned on me that begging probably wasn't going to work. She didn't look like the type of person that would give a shit about anyone or anything.  She makes a call as I stand waiting to hear my fate, and nods making eye contact with me, and I know. Shit! I’ve fucking missed my flight. 


This day......

Sunday afternoon - bored, should be writing....can't! Watching a movie I've seen before, wasting time....life....now! Thinking about a bath....reading.... Relaxing. Sick of it...sick of this day. Sick of having no money.... Sick of waiting. Sick of the mess, the nothing ness. I don't get it...I'm smart and thoughtful. I.m Just being honest with you...are you happy???? 

This is fucked!



Smoking blunts and licking cun#'s....

"Money doesn't buy happiness" - what a load of shit! Whoever says that has money - and are fuckwits! 


Money pays for the house you live in, books, buys trips to overseas destinations, purchases food, allows for fun, it pays for life. No money no anything.....

Money buys total happiness - it's that fucking simple!!!!

If I had money - the sort of money people have where they can go to dinner whenever they want, book trips to exotic destinations, buy that cute dress they see passing by a window - the sort of money that allows you to fill your car up without having to look at the amount of petrol that is going into your car, or not have to wonder what your going to eat that doesn't include beans on the day before you get paid, I wouldn't have to feel bad about anything. I would be happy! 

It's brilliant but no one understands it....

That's because I'm a weirdo!

Thursday, 11 June 2015

I'm not listening to you guys fornicating all night.......

Because it's kind of weird and sort of rude. But............




I'm writing! Shut the hell up.......

So I'm on the lounge - iPad in lap rereading and editing a story I have written for someone else and I keep getting distracted. Questions about nothing, comments and all sorts... Seriously can you not see me furiously typing away, totally ensconced in a fantasy land. Please don't interrupt me. If I wanted to know some silly fact about something or other I would google it. There's a time and a place people.....







Saturday, 6 June 2015

My obsession with thigh high stockings.....

I literally have 15 pairs of thigh high stockings in my draw and I'm planning on buying as many pairs as I can get. Unfortunately the oppertunity to wear them is limited to dress up parties and the bedroom. I don't work in an office so I can't wear high waisted knee length skirts and knee high stockings. I swear when I become a known author I'm going to get an office so I can dress up to go into work pretty much just so I can wear some sexy thigh high's!
I swear there just isn't enough instances where there is a need for thigh high's There should be though, in my opinion thigh high's are sexy, cute and totally hot. They should be mandatory!!!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

3d animation short "Typing"

Friday, 5 June 2015

Too much typing, not enough writing!

I used to write lists about what sort of things I would write in my blog and then pen blog posts on notepads and type them up and post them. Things haven't been like that lately I've been too busy and it's annoying me.
I've also been writing more on my Ipad instead of handwriting and I'm not sure I like it as much. I love handwriting. It's my thing!



Play it again Sam.....

I really am overdue for a YouTube marathon again. Those precious moments sitting undisturbed searching through millions of songs, clips and shows, everything...and getting lost in sound! Finding things I have never seen before and rediscovering things long forgotten. Finding that one song I used to be obsessed with and playing it over and over again like I used too.
These days I basically have to schedule it in - I have so much going on , but no complaining here, my writing career has officially taken off!!!

Why does this weird shit always happen to me!!!!


This is the story of a very WEIRD weekend I had with a few of my best friends. 

We got a unit at the Hilton in Surfers Paradise for Saturday night, and it was stunning! Jodie and I arrived first and checked in. We ate sushi and walked around Surfers Paradise while we waited for Meagan +1 to arrive from the airport. I was a bit put off about a girl coming along that I had never met before to my birthday weekend, but I didn't let that annoy me for too long! I mean don't get me wrong here - I like meeting new people, and especially that one time I met a girl (Rhea) who was an instant best friend and still is. I however like to decide if she is going to be my friend, not forced into it, and staying in a room with someone I had only just met is not an ideal situation for me! I am like a cat, you need to work for my attention and time. That might sound completely stuck up, but I am a pretty private person and I need to be comfortable before I spend long periods of time with them. But anyway I ran with it and didn't let her ruin the dynamic! Meanly, I didn't really think she was my sort of person, nice girl, a bit dense (and we all know that I need interesting people to hang with or I get bored very quickly) so def not inner circle material.

Anyway so me, Jodie, Meagan and The new girl  got ready had some pre dinner drinks and headed to dinner! Pity about some of the acquaintances invited by Meagan who shall be referred to as girl A and girl B from here on in so your don't get confused,who ended up joining us an hour late, and proceeded to get too drunk and not in the good way! More like the way when you cant believe you're actually with them and whatever buzz you may have had from the expensive cocktails you where ordering, they sucked out of us, and when you think their behavior couldn't get much worse, they actually end up on the dance floor at a seedy dive of a pub that I got dragged too instead of actually going somewhere decent, doing fucked up shit.


I'll start at the beginning.
 We started out at a really awesome place called Black Coffee Lyrics - the food is absolutely amazing, cocktails second too none, and the service is impeccable! We all had a few drinks, and they seemed like they where okay to me except for Girl B  saying some weird ai ai ai ai  thing over and over again! I mean, every five minutes she would bust that out fairly loudly which I thought somewhat strange, and I must admit I was starting to get embarrassed! New Girl kept repeating herself and smoked half a packet of my cigarettes that I purchased in case I wanted a sneaky ciggie when I got really drunk. (It never happened) And then made the waiter take down her last drink order as vodka lemonade and a dash of red cordial because it looks like fairy floss and she loves pink. That's exactly what she said to the sexy waiter as I cringed in the corner hoping he didn't think I had anything to do with her! I was like this classy place selling espresso martinis and fabulous cocktails and specialty drinks isn't for this type of person. By the way he was looking at her he probably thought so too! Anyway we decided to leave there, but we should have stayed as its the best thing that happened to us all night, but its probably lucky we left.
We nipped into the hotel which was conveniently next door to swap Meagan's shoes from Heels to Flats (I know is she serious???) and I was treated to a lot of ass grabbing, pinching and fingers trying to go places I didn't want them to be and then a sloppy kiss from Girl A, that wasn't wanted or welcomed as she groped my ass and tits - needless to say I was struggling to free myself from her evil clutches, and managed to push her away and avoid further advances as I  herded everyone out the door.

We went to Swingin Safari in a taxi, and where treated to the same  girl acting out a fake orgasm as loud as she could for some strange reason, as she drooled over the thought of pussy and girls (she has a man and a baby at home so lucky them I guess, mummies a closet leso or bi). We all sat not knowing weather to laugh or what! Then she received a phone call from someone and proceeded to scream and yell as loud as she could down the receiver. We pulled up not a moment to soon, the poor taxi driver was agog, and went to get out of the vehicle, two people happened to be waiting to jump in, and she rudely mumbled something to them ( I didn't catch what) whilst shooting the girl of the pair a filthy look. The guy was like 'there's no need to be rude.' SO whatever she said must have been pretty bad!
 We get to the front door somehow, and girl A refused to pay the full amount for the cover charge and haggled the leather baseball capped door lady/amazon women in matching leather bomber jacket down as we stood embarrassed. The bar awaited us, and we ordered drinks. The music was a bit different to what I was used to at Swingin Safari. (I have had many, many fun nights at the same venue) but it was still really good. The crowd was ALSO very different to say the least, but we took our sugary drinks and waited for the others on some lounges near the door.  Meanwhile girl A and B were still at the bar, A arguing with some guy over god knows what. And she stumbled over to tell us they where leaving they thought it was shit there (it wasn't) and where walking back to Surfers to go the Irish Dive Bar called O'Malleys! Seriously???? I said we where staying behind, and they left! As closing time neared (its shuts at 12pm) we decided to call a cab and head back into Surfers too and closer to our hotel. Meagan wanted to find the other girls, I reluctantly agreed but said we would get them and go somewhere better, or different because I did NOT want to stay there.
We arrive and find Girl A outside on the balcony smoking up a storm with 6 guys arguing and mouthing off. Girl B says "hi" and says to me "You're a bit of a bitch aren't you?" then says as I stare at her "I like it but your a bitch ay?"
Me - "Um, you don't even know me, I met you tonight!"
She stares at me - "But you are aren't ya?"
I stared at her, this strange judgmental women -who had told me enough about herself to know that whatever she thought of me didn't really matter! Drug abuser, bar waitress, strange mannerisms, plus she had mentioned about three times over the course of the evening that she was sooooooo obsessed with Ricki Martin, and that she had gone to every one of the shows for 'The Voice' in Australia where he was a judge, to see him! She has met him 3 times apparently, and has photo evidence that we all had to see. She has joined his charity for underprivileged kids I think, and is flying to Porto Rico because she thinks it is what he would want her to do, she knows he wont be there but it brings them closer somehow! She told us that she told him she was going to do it and he hugged her and told her she was an amazing person (if he only knew that he was creating a possible stalker) Thanks for sharing you amazing story, and thanks for taking a million photos with your phone of people that you had only just met, and forcing us all to pose that many times we were sick of the site of the camera and you. The worse part was when calling me a bitch and then asking me if I am, she could not even focus on me long enough to see my reaction and I didn't really even think I owed her an explanation. I just turned and started talking to my real friends as we eyeballed each other and without words all knew we where like WTF!!!!!!
I was then informed she actually worked there (O'Malley's) as some sort of bar tender. She ordered a round of Jagger bombs and vodkas for everyone and told the girl behind the counter she would sort it tomorrow as she actually had no cash, as I signaled for Jodie that I wanted to leave. Meagan God Love her, wanted to stay till she finished her drink, so unfortunately we did. Luckily, there was some sort of Irish jig playing as I took a seat, trying not to look like I wanted to be anywhere else but here, and The New Girl started dancing her version of this jig. It was actually pretty funny at first, however, Girl A and B decided to join in, and they started dancing up a storm. Went from funny to fucking pathetic in moments! Hot and bothered, Girl A decided to stop and open up an adjoining door to let a breeze in. She struggled to get it propped open after an extensive effort, whilst disrupting the group of 6 guys on the other side of the door enjoy a cigarette on the balcony. She ended up slamming the door in their faces in apparent drunken frustration, and Jodie and I saw one of them gesture that she was a dick head. She must have witnessed this because moments later she is in this guys face abusing him. After giving him an absolute mouthful, she then approached a bouncer and tried to get old mate kicked out! The bouncer refused.
Meanwhile, girl B gets the music changed over to Pinks greatest hits and Girl A and B with the added bonus of bogan New Girl started to dance around to the music, apparently Pink is their favourite and they have been to six concerts..... It quickly headed south (as if we expected anything else) and they started dancing around wooden posts placed strategically close to the dance floor - it went from bad worse, as they all started dry humping these posts, pashing them and doing some pretty gross shit, in a bar full of men and us 6 girls. Jodie and I sat in shock as it got worse and worse. Lucky us they had attracted some sleazy undesirables that sidled up behind our table and started to mumbled vulgar comments and leer at the SLUTS who had now dragged up wooden stools and were mimicking sex acts on chairs. After somehow discouraging them and getting them to view the show from a different location that didn't including breathing down my neck and saying "That Pink sure knows what women like doesn't she?" Jodie and I locked eyes!
"I'm leaving now!" I announced - and Jodie agreed. We girls like to have a good time - but none of the shit that was going down around us remotely resembled what we would consider good, fun or entertaining!
In the moments it took for my brain to register that I wanted to leave and telling my friends I was out of there, Girl A and B had started to get down and dirty. A pushed B onto a speaker and starts rubbing her furiously through her pants on her "Queen Victoria" like shes in a rough girl on girl porno!

This shocking act in a public place, in my company rendered me speechless, as we all stood in horror, and all I could think is; I actually had dinner with these people! I was embarrassed for myself that I was associated with anyone who was so classless, and that someone had invited them to my birthday dinner and night out. It was supposed to be a special night with my two best friends, and turned into a night with some random that tagged along, and two fucking drunk ass trash bags that are not worth my time. I gathered my things and said I'm leaving right now and made for the door. Meanwhile Meagan and and New Girl had slipped out for a ciggie and where banging on the glass door at me. I bypassed the exit door and went to tell them I would meet them back at the hotel! They said they would finish their smokes and we would leave. As they butted out their ciggies, I went to leave but they decided to go and say goodbye to the girls. I said it was a very bad idea and we should leave. They said it was 'mean' to not say goodbye so they headed in. (Mean? Mean is inviting them to my Birthday but whatever you think, I guess) I went for the door anyway assuming they would just meet me downstairs! Girl A beat me too it and cut us off and came rushing towards me. She then lifted her top up and flashed the whole smokers deck with 40 guys crammed onto it! I tried to pull her top back down and herd her inside, but she yanked it back up and no-one cheered!
Once inside, I told her I was leaving and grabbed Jodie and we headed for the door. Meagan and New Girl where still saying goodbye and getting boobs everywhere. The bouncer actually said as we hurried down the stairs "You know its time to leave when your drunk friend cant leave her top on"
Shes not my friend was all I said..... and we left!
The rest of the night was okay, I was pretty sober by then, we went back to the unit, and discussed the fucked up shit we had just witnessed. I told the others I was absolutely disgusted with what just went down and said I don't associated myself with that kind of person. I'm 34 years old and that sort of unappealing behavior is why I don't really let a lot of people into my life. Meagan passed out not long after, and Jodie and I had to entertain New Girl who was fairly boring, and basically not worth it. She actually entered Jodie and My private bedroom twice without our company and into my bathroom attached to out room without asking which I found really strange. I ordered room service and talked shit to Jodie till 2am in our bed. I went out to get a glass of water before I drifted off, and caught New Girl sneaking out of the unit. I asked her mainly for curiosity purposes and so Jodie and I could gossip about it, where she was headed and she said down to the 24 hour convenience store to grab some munchies despite the chips and dip we had on the bench. I headed back to bed which was like laying on a cloud. I woke up this morning refreshed and still in shock from what had happened. And found out that New Girl had lied and nipped over to another pub opposite out hotel and played the pokies alone for 3 hours and then came back to the unit! Um seriously?
What a weird night!



Did she criticize your technique the whole time?

That girl! - No matter what you do, even in the bedroom, is guiding you in like a traffic controller at an airport parking a plane. Seriously chill the fuck out and stop controlling every situation. It's not all about you - maybe your whole technique fucking sucks! Ever think of that?


Social Media Locations



Don't forget to become a follower of Writing in Heels so you can come back with just one click!
If following here is not your thing, then feel free to find me at all sorts of social media locations. 



You can also find me on Goodreads by searching 
Tara Anderton 

And you can purchase my novel Gold Digger at these locations;

Http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gold-digger-tara-anderton/1120500875?ean=9781618973665 

http://www.amazon.com/Gold-Digger-Tara-Anderton/dp/1618973665/ref=la_B00QOS1DKI_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424320415&sr=1-1 



Thursday, 4 June 2015

Beethoven + Booty = Amazing



Seriously does anyone else think this is the best thing ever?

Tuesday, 2 June 2015

What the fuck is this?

If your're sitting there scratching your head wondering what this blog Writing in Heels is all about then your in for a treat because I will explain it to you! This blog is all over the place for a reason - It's called Writing in Heels because it's a journal about my life and the random crazy thoughts I have, it's about my writing, it's about reading, its about pictures -  it's a little bit of me and it's a little bit of everything and nothing all at the same time. 

Any questions???

Monday, 1 June 2015

More.

I'm doing a ghostwriting project for a client and there is so much reading to do by tomorrow afternoon it's not even funny..... The reading will turn into edits and mini edits and it won't be ready I just know it!!!!! I completely fucked around today and I'll pay for it later.
I need more time!


25 Things you should do before you write your next novel...

Or your first novel depending on where you are at in your writing career.


So I found more interesting stuff you might be interested in.

Do you actually need to do all these things? No, of course not. This is merely a potential checklist. Scan it. Pick and choose what works, ditch the rest. End of story.

1. Get Your Expectations Firmly In Check

Writing a book is like a long trek through unfamiliar wilderness. It doesn’t take long before you feel lost, disoriented, hungry, ready to give up, lay down, eat your hands, and let the book die on the ground next to you like a gut-shot coyote. Know this going in: we build into this experience expectations that are unreasonable. We expect every day to be bliss. Every chapter to be perfect. Every word and sentence and paragraph to click in some kind of shining sidereal alignment. Some days will be bliss. Some chapters and words really will be perfect. But you also have to build room for things to suck. Because they will. Parts of this book will be the literary equivalent of you dumpster-diving through dirty needles and old Indian food just to find some spare change. Get used to it. Remember: this is just the first draft. Others will come. The work is ahead, but the work is clarifying. You have time. You have space. Be ready for hard days.

2. Find Your Own Personal “Give-A-Fuck” Factor

Seriously: why the fuck are you doing this? Not just writing a novel, but writing this novel. Are you excited? Does the prospect of writing this thing both geek you out and scare you in equal measure? It should. If you don’t, this might not be the story you want to write. People ask me sometimes, “How do I know which story to write right now?” Write the one that engages you. That lights up your mental console like a pinball machine on full fucking tilt. Write the book you care about writing. Find out why you want to write it, too — there’s great meaning in discovering your own attraction to the characters, the story, the themes.

3. Draw The Map For The Journey Ahead

I don’t care if you write an outline (though it remains a skill you should possess as one day, someone will ask you to do so and a lack of familiarity will leave you twisting in the wind), but for the sake of sweet Saint Fuck, do something to map your journey. Listen, a novel? It’s a big deal. It’s many tens of thousands of words shoved together. And in there are all these moving parts: character, plot, theme, mood, past, present, future, text, subtext. Gears and flywheels and dildo widgets, spinning and sparking and hissing. Don’t go in totally blind. You don’t need to map every beat, but even three hastily-scrawled phrases on a bar napkin (“narwhale rebellion, yellow fever, Mitt Romney’s shiny grease-slick forehead”) will be better than nothing. Bonus link of some relevance: 25 Ways To Plot, Plan, Prep Your Story.

4. Become Wild West Scrivening Inkslinger “Quick-Note McGoat”

Have a way to take notes. Sounds obvious, so let me add another squirt to the salad: have a way to take notes quickly and unexpectedly. It is incredibly awful to wake up in the middle of the night, or while out walking your dog, or in the midst of one of your Satanic meetings in the basement of the local Arby’s and suddenly have an epiphany about your coming novel that youthink you’ll remember but, of course, it’ll slip through one of the many mouse-holes in your mind-floor. You get it all figured out and then the idea is gone, baby, gone. So: fast notes. Notebook. Or a note app on your phone. Or a tattoo gun.

5. Know Thy Characters

I talked about this last week, but seriously, with your characters: get all up in them guts. It’s not the worst thing to recognize that all of our characters are in some small ways representative of the author — even if it’s just us chipping off the tiniest sliver of our intellectual granite to stick into the mix, it’s good for us to find ourselves in each character (and find the character inside us). Er, not sexually.

6. Test Drive Those Imaginary Motherfuckers

I will advocate this until the day I die. (Or the day someone clocks me with a shovel and turns me into the mental equivalent of a wagon full of cabbage.) Grab your main character, and take him for a test drive. (No, I said not sexually. Holy crap, tuck that thing back in your lederhosen, weirdo.) Write something, anything, featuring that character. Flash fiction. Short story. Random chapter from the book. Blog post. Don’t worry: you don’t have to show it to anybody. Look at it this way: it’s like taking a new car for a spin. First you sit down, everything feels uncomfortable — “How do I turn on the wipers? Where’s the A/C knob? Is there a place for my pet wombat, Roger?” But then after you take it down a few roads, you start to feel like you ‘get’ the car. It starts to feel like a part of you. And Roger likes it, too!

7. Dig Up All Those Glittery Conflict Diamonds

Every story is about a problem. A story without a problem is like a drive through Nebraska: flat, featureless, without form or meaning. Identify the problem engine pushing the story forward. Heist gone wrong! Spam-Bots gain sentience! Murderous husband! Lost wombat (ROGER NOOOOO)! Sidenote: Problems born of and driven by character are more interesting and organic than those created as external “plot events.”

8. Build An (Incomplete) World

Just as the story and plot need a map, the setting needs one, too — you’re god, here. This is your genesis expression  — no, we’re not talking about you, Phil Collins, get out of here! Shoo! Cripes, that guy’s like a rash. He just keeps turning up. ANYWAY. This is your let-there-be-light moment. But worldbuilding is like a game — you’re trying to predict what you’ll need without going overboard. You don’t want to create every last granular detail of the world (“Bob, there’s a section in your story bible titled THE TEETH-BRUSHING HABITS OF TREE-ELVES.”), but you also don’t want to hit a patch of the story where you feel like you’re floundering for details you totally forgot to determine. Try to build the world around the story instead of building the story around the world. That’ll provide a more focused — and more relevant — approach.

9. Identify The Major Rules

This is true more for genre fiction than anything else — but sometimes, a story’s got rules. The vampire drinks blood but doesn’t fear the sun. The spaceship is made of hyperintelligent fungus. All ghosts are lactose intolerant, unicorns are the Devil’s steeds, and when that dude from Nickelback marries Miley Cyrus or whoever it is he’s sticking it to, the child born of such a union will be a soulpatch-wearing robot bent on the domination of meat. Suss out the rules early on. Then cleave to them like a needy puppy.

10. Find Your Way Into The Tale

Every tale is a mountain and we have to figure out a way inside. When Day One of your novelstravaganza begins, you don’t want to shave off hours just staring at this massive wall of rock trying to figure out how the fuck you’re going to get into it. You should already know how it begins. First line, first chapter, whatever. Know your point of entry or spend your first day flailing around like a shock treatment spider monkey.

11. Also: Identify The Great Egress

This is a point of contention, and rightfully so — but BY GOSH and BY GOLLY I have my convictions and I’ll spread them before you like warm cheese on a crostini, and those convictions tell me to have your ending figured the fuck out before you even begin the story. Even if you don’t outline, even if the whole of the work is guideless and without aim, know your ending before you begin. Here’s why: the ending matters. Like, really matters. It’s you, sticking your landing. It’s the last bite of narrative food the reader gets, and if the meal has been good up until that last shitty bite, it means you ruined it with a bad ending. Planning an ending allows you to aim for that ending. To write to it. To lead your tale to that moment. Do you need to stick to it? Fuck no! You will almost certainly envision something better through the course of the writing, but that’s okay — but what you don’t want is to cross over into the final leg of your story with zero idea how to wrap things up. Because, you do that, next thing you know you’ll be all like, I DUNNO NOW THEY HAVE TO FIGHT A GIANT SPIDER OR SOMETHING AND QUIT LOOKIN’ AT ME.

12. Learn All The Appropriate Things

At some point I’m sure I could do a whole new “list of 25″ on the subject of research, but for now, just know that you need to get some of it out of the way before you actually suction your tush-meats to the office chair to begin the book. You can research as you go, too (and I’ve written drafts where whole sections get notes like, LOOK UP THE SEX RITUALS OF THE ALIEN ASTRONAUTS AND STUFF), but researching early gives you confidence. And also gives you new ideas. My means of researching is simple: identify topics I know that require researching, then, uhh, research the hell-fuck out of them.

13. Suss Out The Fiddly Bits

A novel has a lot of little fiddly bits: theme, title, mood, narrative tense, POV, and so forth. Know what’s what before you step into the draft. The more of these you have figured out, the more comfortable you are when stepping through that manuscript-shaped doorway the first time. And, by the way, that’s the entire purpose of this list: to give you comfort. Writing a novel can be a weird, dark time. Some discomfort is good, and knowing when to discard preparations is critical. But just the same, you want to walk into the thing with confidence, and confidence comes out of having your literary mise en place ready to rock.

14. The 13-Second Closing-Window-Of-Opportunity Pitch

I don’t know how often a logline or “elevator pitch” really helps new authors get a deal, so this isn’t about that. But learning to distill your story down to a single sentence is a powerful thing. It’s like squeezing it until you can fill a small phial with its most potent essence and that allows you to find out two things: first, just what the crap is this book about, and two, what makes it awesome? Plus, it gives you an easily spit-out-able line of information at parties. When someone asks, “What’s your book about?” you don’t want to be standing there for 20 minutes telling them. HA HA HA JUST KIDDING nobody’s ever going to ask you that. Silly writer.

15. Hell, Write The Whole Goddamn Query

As above: finding ways to express the most elemental elements (shut up) of your book is a clear win. Write the query letter. Yes, query letters suck — I’ve often said it’s like putting a 100-lb. pig in a 1-lb. bucket. Still, try it. Find clarity in brevity. Aim for two or three paragraphs explaining the hook, the story, the critical bits, and so forth. It’ll feel good. You may even have one of those moments where you’re like, “Ohhhh,that’s what the book is about. I didn’t even realize the whole thing was a metaphor for how the American political process would be improved by adding more ponies.”

16. Know Your Word Processor Intimately

I don’t mean you should actively “love up” your word processor — I use Microsoft Word and it’s far too cranky and ugly to ever be my digital lover. (Scrivener, on the other hand, keeps flashing me stretches of milky thigh.) What I mean is, know your tools. Work that word processor till you have its smell all up in your nose. You don’t want a day one question of, BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAVE THIS DOCUMENT SWEET CRISPY CHRIST THE POWER JUST WENT OUT.

17. Establish A Daily Schedule

Write every day, sure, duh. But more importantly: figure out how much you’re going to write on each of those “every days.” Five hundred words? A thousand? Five thousand? FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND? Okay, don’t do that last part. I did that one time and my brain supernova’ed and formed its own Wendigian universe where all is beards and liquor and everyone watches porn based off the Saturday morning cartoons of the 1980s. Point is, establish your daily schedule. Then, uhh, stick to it.

18. Build a Timetable

From there, you can build the first timetable. Because, if you know you’re going to write 1000 words a day and this is going to roughly be a 90,000-word novel, boo-yay, looks like the book will take about 90 days to write. Then, you can build secondary timetables — figure out how long it’ll take to edit, to write a second draft, to wallow in your own treacly misery and muddy despair.

19. Ensure That Life Accommodates The Book

Tell people you’re going to be writing the book. No, not because this way you establish a clear line to the shame associated with failure (“How’s that novel coming along, Dave?” “It’s fine, I’ve been writing it for sixteen years now and OKAY FINE I GAVE UP ON IT GO FUCK A DONKEY I’M GOING TO DROWN MYSELF IN THE PUNCHBOWL KAY THANKS BYE”). But rather because, you need the people in your life to know that This Is An Important Thing to you. That they’ll need to accommodate your writing hours. That if you don’t come out on Friday night, it’s because you’re masturb… I mean, writing. The people in your life deserve to know. And they deserve a chance to help you accomplish this thing you want to accomplish.

20. Have A Publication Path In Mind

It’s a bit “cart before the horse” (or, for a more futuristic metaphor, “the hover-rickshaw before the taxi-bot”) to think about publication before you’ve even written Word One of your Literary Masterpiece, but peep this, peeps: knowing a (rough) publication path helps you steer the story a little bit. Knowing you’re going to self-publish helps you know that you are not bound by any rules (which sadly can include “the rules of making a book readable,” but, y’know, don’t be that guy). Knowing you’re going to go the traditional path (agent, big publisher) tells you that you may want to write something more mainstream, hewing closer to genre convention. It is as with the narrative: knowing the ending helps define the journey.

21. Clean Your Shitty Desk, You Filthmonger

Is that a pair of dirty gym socks brining in a glass of Kool-Aid? Why all the receipts from Big Dan Don’s Dildo Emporium? Why does your desk smell like old jizz and Doritos? Clean your desk, you disgusting cave-dweller. Do so before you dive into the book. The desk will, over the course of the book’s writing, once more return to its primal state of divine chaos, but start clean lest you get distracted by all the science projects scattered around (“The gym socks have developed a nervous system. They respond when I call their names, which, incidentally, are ‘Loretta’ and ‘Vlornox the World-Eater.'”)

22. The Backup Plan

Figure out how you’re going to back up your novel. One backup should go to The Cloud. Another should be carved into the bedrock of an external device — and no, not your power drill dildo — I mean like, a USB key or hard drive, you silly sexy kook, you. A third might get carved into the back of a captive foe.

23. Set It And Forget It

In the weeks preceding the start of this book, use your brain like it’s an overnight slow-cooker. Go to bed thinking about the story at hand. Envision problems. Ask questions. Drum up the research of the day from the slurry of thoughts and focus on it. Then, slumber, young penmonkey. Your brain will absorb this stuff like a corpse taking on river-water. When it comes time to write, you will find it disgorges what it absorbed — and then some. (This isn’t backed by any kind of science or anything, but I believe it works, so there. I also believe in Bigfoot. So. Uhh. Maybe you shouldn’t trust my instincts.)

24. Commit, Motherfucker

Mentally commit. Seems simple. Kinda isn’t. Take this idea of writing this novel and then take your heart and all the willpower that lives in it and smash the two together in a flavor explosion that tastes like GETTING IT THE FUCK DONE. Sometimes there is great power in committing to something in an emotional, intellectual, even spiritual sense. I mean, what, you’re going to hit Day One and say, “Maybe I’ll finish this, maybe I won’t?” Piss on that flimsy whimsy — hunker down, dig your heels in, ball those soft hands into hard fists, and commit to writing this motherfucking book.

25. Stop Doing All This Other Stuff And Write Already

Just to be clear: you actually have to write the thing. Which means all this stuff? Do it. And thenstop doing it. There comes a point when you have to stop outlining, stop researching, stop thinking and dicking around and fiddling with your intellectual privates in order to put pen to paper and finger to keys and write that book. Once any of these tasks becomes a distraction — a disease instead of the remedy — then it’s time to shovel that aside and get to work. Because at the end of the day, nothing is as clarifying as just going through the paces and building words into worlds and sentences into stories.


Want another hot tasty dose of dubious writing advice aimed at your facemeats?



http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2012/09/25/25-things-you-should-do-before-starting-your-next-novel/



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