A blog about everything I love! From Astronomy to music and everything in between. I cover 'sudoscience' - We've got aliens, and conspiracy theories, disclosure, want to ascend? Me too..... Then I spin it the whole other way and give you 'factual science' with cool stuff I've been learning at university. I share choice music, books, funny websites, silly hobbies, people, fun and food. Join me on a crazy ride through my life on this wonderful planet we call Earth!

Friday, 31 January 2014

I just watched another movie.....

I usually watch about 8 movies a week. One of my passions is sitting down to a quirky little movie, on my big chocolate leather lounge - it doesn't matter if there are big stars in it or not, actually I kind of prefer the actors to be nobodies so to speak, because it makes it more interesting. Don't get it twisted, I like all the blockbusters too - but mainly only comedies and rom coms and sometimes, but not always something a bit different, but I cant get enough of the weird little movies, Indy ones with twisted story lines and strange endings, I don't even know what genre they fall into but there is plenty of them out there and hopefully a lot more to come. The ones that leave you in a 'What the Fuck just happened there' moment - that's the best.

Anyway, so I found this Movie, The English Teacher. Its about an English teacher whose life is disrupted when a former student returns to her small town after failing as a playwright in New York.



Storyline

Linda Sinclair (Julianne Moore) is a forty-year-old unmarried high school English teacher in the small town of Kingston, Pennsylvania. She shares a small apartment with two Siamese cats and her rich collection of great literature. She maintains no close personal relationships aside from those she has with her favorite authors and stories. Her life is far less complicated than the dramas she devours on the page, and she likes it that way. But Linda's simple life turns an unexpected page when former star pupil Jason Sherwood (Michael Angarano) returns to Kingston after trying to make it as a playwright in New York. Now in his 20s, Jason is on the verge of abandoning art, pressured by his overbearing father, Dr. Tom Sherwood (Greg Kinnear), to face reality and go to law school. Linda can't stand the thought of Jason giving up on his dreams so she decides to mount his play - a dark, angst-ridden, ambitious work - as a Kingston High School production, with flamboyant drama teacher Carl ... Written by Cinedigm


My mini review -
It was pretty good!  Julianne Moore is a great actress, and I happen to love Greg Kinnear - anything that has writing in it or a story about an author has my interest.

 



Digging for Gold

I received an email today about my new novel Gold Digger - it contained an edited version of my book (jumps and fist pumps air) that I have been asked to review (which basically means I  have to read it at least twice, and make sure it is exactly right - every word is in place and its perfect) and then respond to said email. This  means, ultimately, I am one step closer to it being published (which will be in the next few months )- I don't have an exact date for you yet, but I will definitely keep you posted. 

I'm starting to get nervous now - it's finally all happening and I'm going to have to choose a cover that will  be the face of my book - its an important decision - I will have two different options to choose from and I don't want to mess it up - and then the printing and OMG the Book! 


Thursday, 30 January 2014


books and time......


Tips on how to write a novel.

As a writer its always good to read other writers stories about their journey as a writer, and how they got published, or even how they are still trying to find a publisher. I spend about an two hours a week searching for other authors and tips on writing a novel, character outlines and all the little things that go into becoming a better writer.

Anyway, I found something you might be interested in and have kindly provided part of the article I read and a link to the rest of you want to take it further.... You're Welcome x



I wrote three novels before I got a nibble from a publisher, so how did I keep myself motivated, pushing myself to finish each one without any guarantee my work would ever see the light of day? There's no secret sauce, I'm afraid - it very much depends on your personality and how determined you are to see things through to the bitter end.

Only five or ten percent of those who start writing a novel actually finish the first draft, and while I don't consider myself an expert I can at least share my experience. I can't promise these tips will work for you, but they might work for the next writer to come across my web site and they certainly worked for me.

Skills - First things first. Wanting to write a publishable book is no different to wanting to play an instrument in a top symphony orchestra. You need thousands of hours of practice and familiarity with the tools of the trade. In their case, music and instruments. In ours, language and words.

Fortunately writers don't have to pay for our education. No expensive lessons required ... all you have to do is read books. If you want to write fiction, read fiction. The more you read, the more the tricks of the trade will seep in. So, if you suspect your writing isn't up to scratch, haunt the local library.

Practice - I once considered retelling a favourite book just to get an idea of the level of detail needed. I planned to duplicate the characters and plot exactly, rewriting the entire book scene by scene in my own words. I never did it, but I still think it could be a very useful technique. After all, you don't have to worry about plot or characterisation ... that's already been done! (Of course, you couldn't submit the result to a publisher. This would strictly be for your own consumption.)


http://www.spacejock.com.au/WriteANovel.html



Icecream commitment issues

"To be honest, I'm not a big fan of ice cream."
"How can anybody not like icecream?"
"Too big a commitment."
"That makes no sense."
"Think about it. Once you buy icecream, you have to finish it right then and there. Either eat it or loose it forever. I mean, look at this. It's already drippy. You can't tuck it away to finish later like you can, say, a cookie."
"Oh come on! Have you ever once in your life put a cookie away to finish later?"
"That's not the point. It's that I could if I wanted to."

The Next Thing on My List

Closet transformation


Wednesday, 29 January 2014


Just The Tip.......

I follow a page on Facebook called Just The Tip and this husband and wife duo are hilarious.
Here is their latest post ~
 
 
Mr. Tip's memory sucks.

I wonder if he remembers the time we travelled out of town for his friend's wedding one year, just after Christmas.

There was an open bar, and we took full advantage of that fucker. Despite the fact we ran out of shit to mix our drinks WITH, we kept on throwing them back....

Finally, epically trashed and giving zero fucks whatsoever, we went to our hotel room (a few floors up from where the wedding reception was held) and he had the brilliant idea to order pizza.

Then he tipped the guy $50 in a moment of generosity and ZFG (Pretty sure his mind was on all his favorite "P" words, not rationality).

The next morning, wickedly hung over and dry mouthed (one of us was vomiting copiously) we realized the funds for our return trip were missing. When I reminded him (whilst hugging the toilet for dear life) of his bountiful indulgence with the Pizza Boy, he said, "WHAT THE FUCK! Seeing you NAKED in the background should have been enough of a damn tip!"

I was naked in the background?

Completely stressed, he tossed me the box of cold pizza and said "Eat this if you want to stop yacking, because we have no money for food or gas."

Ahhhh, memories. I don't remember how we got home, but I do know that if we get shitty service at a restaurant, my standard suggestion is to throw down a fifty.

JTT never forgets
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

Sentence Patterns



Monday, 27 January 2014

Writing in Heels - steamrolls 2014


So its the last day of my self appointed 6 week holidays - yes I have had a very relaxing time going to the beach, reading lots of books, eating lots of yummy food and drinking an assortment of cocktails and spirits and wine (probably too much) and I even had a moment or two of feeling a little bit down (Im okay now though) I'd like to think it was a small glitch in my usual happy upbeat weird strange personality that I can only say may have been withdrawals from my routine and writing in general?


 So, I thought I would write one last blog post about what you can expect in the coming year.

With 2417 blog posts and counting - Writing in Heels is gaining momentum and will head into a new work year with so much content you will be wondering how on earth I have time to write my fabulous novels. Not only will I provide you with some awesome tips on how to become a successful author, as well as other writing related information that will surely provide budding and established authors with new insight, you will witness my struggles and the timelines I've endured to becoming a successful author. I will encourage you to open up books and give you a list of all the ones you should be reading. I will fill those boring moments with funny little stories about my life, random things that I think need to be addressed, and even throw in a few random articles and tid bits that will have you wondering what deep dark corner I was looking in to have ever come across such things. You'll also get the regular stuff; music, writing related pictures, things that inspire me, definitions, movies, silly self portrait's, and pretty things.You will become intimately acquainted with how deep my obsession with Danielle Steel has become (not in the stalker kind of way though just a true love and deep adoration type of obsession) and of course random photos of my feet displayed in magical shoes that we all want to own. You may or may not see more photo-shoots, you can be sure that I will buy more shoes and you can also be sure that I will be filling you newsfeeds on G+ with all the crazy things I find while I'm perusing the net in the name of research for projects I am doing.

As you may have herd I am about to have my first ever book published; Gold Digger a contemporary romance that is such a great achievement for me, and I'll be asking you for your opinion on cover options as well as giving you a step by step guide into what's happening as we go along.

There's probably a lot more stuff but you'll just have to wait and see - its going to be a great year people - lets get it on!



So many books


Sunday, 26 January 2014


Saturday, 25 January 2014

Gold Digger

You may or may not know that I have written a book and it is moments away from being published. Its called Gold Digger and its a contemporary romance novel that surely millions of women and even some men will enjoy and love.

If you want to check it out online you can go and visit my author website http://www.golddiggernovel.com - if your not that into purchasing things online, never fear it will be available in bookshops soon enough, so stay tuned for all information in the next few weeks.

xx

Walking into a story


Make All the Bears Laugh at You With Anthropologie's $9,000 Tent

If you have a spare nine grand then you might want to invest in this baby....

 
Not only will it cost you a fortune (and comes with nothing at all but the tent) it wont really hold up in any sort of weather, plus their is also the added bonus that you could start questioning yourself the chance of fucking a fox - read this funny article attached - you wont be disappointed!
 
 
Are you an avid indoorsman with $9,000 to spare? Do you want to send a loud and clear message to your fellow campers that, in the event of an apocalypse, you should definitely be the first people eaten? Then does Anthropologie ever have the tent for you.
The Altair tent, available now for order from the tweetailor's website, offers 216 square feet of indoors-but-outdoors luxury, but does not include flags or wood flooring, oh god help you if you think you're getting flags or wood flooring, missy. It's also styled to look like one of the tents from the tournament in Disney's Robin Hood, an added bonus if you want to spend your Gwyneth Paltrow fantasy glamping trip or beachside vacation very confused about the fuckability level of a cartoon fox.
It seems that at least one shopper has caught on to the ridiculousness of paying $9,000 to live like it's 9,000 BC, leaving the following review on Anthropologie's website:
perf for the pool!
CONS: no air conditioning
After going through a "gypsy" phase (to be young again..) my parents bought me this tent as a retreat to conduct my crystal therapy. Let me tell you, the tent is PERFECT; that being said note that assembly IS required, but with the help of my kind gardeners I pitched this baby in no time! This tent will make a great addition to any courtyard/lawn. Perfect place to work through ennui. Enjoy and namaste!
I'd imagine it's only a matter of time before the entire comments section is overtaken by similar reviews (but, you know, funnier). Hint, hint.

Friday, 24 January 2014



When It Comes to Pubes, You Have the Following Options....

I found this very interesting article about pubic hair and what the hell you should do with it (or not) and I thought I would share...
 
 
 
 
 
 
Pubic hair is the thatch of curlies that grows around your gennies and lets you know that you are a grown-up now. You can do all kinds of things with it, including but not limited to: waxing, shaving, dyeing, plucking, shaping, straightening, lasering, braiding, and nothing.

For various reasons, our culture is UHHUBSESSED with how many pubic hairs other people have—especially when those people are women—and that obsession has inspired a significant backlash among women who feel that they shouldn't be shamed for letting their genitals do WHAT GENITALS DO, just because porno cameras are too stupid to look around corners. But then there's also been a backlash to the backlash, wherein other women feel like waxing definitely counts as "doing something with one's own genitals" and is therefore JUST as feminist an act as saving the proverbial rainforests, so could everyone please get off my mons already so I can eat my cheesy Bugles in peace!? And at that point, literally everyone is shamed for literally anything that they decide to do with their down-under thunder, and nobody is happy, and we have to fucking talk talk talk talk talk about it all the goddamn time. INSTEAD, HOW ABOUT NOT. PASS THE BUGLES.
Personally, I do think that women's pubic hair is political. I think that the widespread push for crotchal deforestation is a shame-based arm of the beauty industry that keeps women dumping cash into an endless hair-removal profit pipeline. I think body hair has a legitimate place in academic discussions of modern beauty standards. HOWEVER, I also don't give a shiiiiiiiit what other people do with their genitals. As my jazz-dad used to say about the rock 'n' roll music, I can't imagine being so bored.
And whatever! I participate in HELLA BEAUTY MYTH SHIT. Because it's fun. And if I eschewed every single behavior and pop cultural phenomenon that undermined my feminism, I'd have to just sit in a refrigerator box at the bottom of a well and write my own Judith Butler fanfic. Except even that wouldn't count, because it'd be tainted by my own internalized misogyny, and also wells are phallic and REFRIGERATORS ARE A SYMBOL OF FEMALE SERVITUDE. Instead, you just have to choose which problematic-but-enjoyable stuff is worth it to you, and then swallow it with a long cool glass of critical thinking.
So, at the very least, can we quit it with all this kind of presumptuous, speculative back-and-forth?
It's a cruel analogy, but the staunch defence of hairy fannies reminds me of very overweight over-eaters who say they're "happy as they are". What I think they mean is that they're happy to remain overweight because it's preferable to denying themselves lots of delicious food. But if people could eat whatever they wanted without gaining weight, they'd do so in a heartbeat.
When women say pubic hair should be left untamed, I take this to mean that they'd prefer to not to have the extreme pressure, shame or embarrassment society makes us feel for having it, while simultaneously wanting to avoid the costly and torturous battle of constantly trying to keep it at bay. But what if women could have their metaphorical cake and eat it? What if the hassle of removing body hair was no longer a valid argument in the debate? If you could wave a magic wand and be hair free for life, would you keep your pubes or banish them?



 http://jezebel.com/when-it-comes-to-your-pubes-these-are-all-of-your-opti-1506892619?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

Thursday, 23 January 2014



tiny thoughts


Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Best Ever Contemporary Romance Books

First - What is a Contemporary Romance?

contemporary romance, being a full length novel set in modern times that is almost entirely focused on the romance.

Want a list that claims to have the best ever contemporary romances - you might want to take a look:

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/57.Best_Ever_Contemporary_Romance_Books

And while you're on Goodreads you might want to pop over to my page and add me as a friend or follow me and then you can check out all the books I read......if that's what you're into :-)

 
 
 
 
 

Twelve Steps to Write a Novel

I was reading through some tips on how to write a novel - and thought I would share. You never know what you might need to make your novel better and give you more insight into become a better writer.



1. Prepare For the Journey

First and foremost, you need to decide why you want to write fiction at all. Making money from writing is not a bad motivation, but there are much better ways to ensure you look forward to working on your novel every day. Other tasks here include getting organized (both in terms of paperwork and time), and learning how to harness your inner-creativity.




2. Decide What Type of Novel to Write


An important aspect of learning how to write a novel is adopting a professional attitude. Forget all your romantic ideals of what being a writer is like - selling a novel to a publisher is a business proposition. What does that mean for you? It means that, to stand the best chance of success, you need to know right from the outset where your book will eventually sit in the marketplace. Now, I'm not asking you to bin your artistic integrity here, I'm simply advising you to slip on your business hat for a moment. And in practical terms that means researching the market and identifying a niche to target.


3. Brainstorm For Ideas

Okay, we're gradually edging closer to the point where the real work begins (i.e. the point where you start to plan your novel).Before you can plan, though, you need to find an idea. I don't mean any old idea, but the best one you can possibly come up with. (After all, you will be devoting a significant chunk of your life to this novel. The last thing you want to do is set off on the wrong foot.)Some people will tell you that good ideas are difficult to come by. I would respectfully disagree. (In fact, I believe that most writer's face the opposite problem: Not having years to turn every idea they have into a novel. Unfortunately, I can't help you there!)



4. Get Ready to Plan Your Novel

One person's idea of how to write a novel will be a little different from somebody else's. (Which is why you should feel free to adapt my novel writing process to your own unique requirements.)Perhaps the biggest difference is this...Some folks like to plan their fiction in huge detail before they turn to the business of drafting and revising it. Other writers manage to get by on virtually no planning at all, or even zero planning. They come from the "seat of the pants" school of writing. Which way is best? There is no absolute answer to that - if a particular way of writing fiction works for you, it works. End of story.

For the rest of the twelve helpful steps check out the link below.


- See more at: http://www.novel-writing-help.com/how-to-write-a-novel.html#sthash.CsR5jfvj.dpuf

Today


Tuesday, 21 January 2014



 

Monday, 20 January 2014


Sunday, 19 January 2014

Poor little bitch girl

"Drink this," Sam said, handing me the mug he was carrying.
"What is it?" I asked, wondering if he was planning on slipping me a roofie and ravishing my poor cold body. Not that anyone would want to ravish me, the way I look.
"It's hot chocolate with a side of rape drug," he said straight-faced.
"I am a lawyer," I reminded him, quite sternly.
"I know," he said. "That's why I'm giving you all the info upfront."



Jackie Collins

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Tara and her high heels too

 

Land of Oooo



I love me a good photo shoot and this one was no exception....
 
Weather I'm dressed as a pirate or posing for shoe shots to put on my blog or on G+ there is nothing funner than posing for pics and trying on all the lovely clothes and shoes. I tend to like different shots that suggest sexy but don't go all the way - because obviously this isn't a porno or a dirty mag and I like different stuff....

Friday, 17 January 2014

Tara shares

Exciting things are happening this coming week - stay tuned for all the forthcoming news - 

Have a Great weekend xo

reading is a fantasy


Thursday, 16 January 2014


life changing......



Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Poor little bitch girl

I've been reading a lot of books lately  (well more than I usually do) and I've just started this Jackie Collins book. The opening lines of the book pull you in immediately which is what you want in a book.....
 
 
 


First there's Denver Jones, the hotshot attorney working in L.A. and Carolyn Henderson - personal assistant to a powerful and very married Senator in Washington with whom she is having an affair. Then there's Annabelle Maestro - daughter of two movie stars - who has carved out a career for herself in New York as the madame of choice for discerning famous men. The three twenty-something women used to go to high school together in Beverly Hills and Denver and Carolyn have always kept in touch, but Annabelle is out on her own with her cocaine addicted boyfriend Frankie.
Bobby is Frankie's best friend - Bobby Santangelo Stanislopolous, that is, Kennedy-esque son of Lucky Santangelo and deceased Greek shipping billionaire Dimitri Stanislopolous. Now he owns Mood, the hottest club in New York, but back in the day he went to high school with Denver, Carolyn and Annabelle, and hung out with all three of them. Which means that Bobby knows everyone's secrets - and he has some of his own too.



Find this and many more that I have read check out Goodreads.


 



Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Sunday, 12 January 2014

Maybe He's just not that into you......

'Darling, if you ring, you'll look intense. You're worth chasing, so let him chase you. You shouldn't have to remind him of your presence because if you're not on his mind, then he's no good for you.'


An Autumn Crush

Saturday, 11 January 2014



Thursday, 9 January 2014

Critique My Dick Pic - All Supply, little demand.

One of my favourite blog writers Jill Hamilton who authors In Bed with Married Women has come up with the goods again with this blog post! If you don't follow her - then you're fucking nuts! I can't say enough good shit about the woman - she's always got a great little twist on subjects that we are all interested in, and writes it in such a way that has definitely given me a girl crush - I love your brain Jill!

http://www.inbedwithmarriedwomen.com





Consider the courtship practice of the Sending of the Dick Picture.

Men like sending them, but few women--and only under very specific circumstances--like getting them. (I think dick pictures are sexy, but I get that impression that I'm unusual in that regard.) Seems like a bit of messed up evolutionary mating economics--all supply, little demand.

Supply's not going down any time soon, so it seems the best solution is to create more demand. In this case, creating a better quality--hence possibly better-received--dick pic.

This is the mission of Critique My Dick Pic.  Writes site creator/judger of peni, Madeleine Holden:

this is a tumblr with a simple premise: send me your dick pics, & i’ll critique them with love.
'with love' is an important addendum. i'm never going to shame you about the size of your dick or what it looks like; i'm not about that life. i will, however, be ruthlessly honest when it comes to things like angles, lighting & general tone. i'm trying to help you improve, because in all likelihood your dick pics are artless & dull.

The girl is ruthlessly honestly and is against "Porky Pigging," that is, wearing a shirt but no pants, and photos featuring "the log," (says she: "the log" is when you take a bird’s eye view, close-up shot of your enormous dick, with your dick taking up most of the frame & with very little surrounding detail. dudes, they’re boring. they’re ~so~ boring. they say "look at my fat cock" & fuck all else.") She ends each review with a letter grade. In bold.

Consider this poor guy who sent in an uninspired shot of his dick hanging over the edge of a kitchen sink. (You'll have to look yourself b/c as Holden puts it, this site is "Not! Safe! For! Work!")

um no this is definitely not very good.
your dick is unceremoniously flopped out of your pants & you look like you’re about to piss in the sink. your right arm is hanging limply & the top right hand corner of your pic is straight blur. sender, this is very bad? you didn’t try very much here? it is extremely unlikely that this picture would arouse anyone?
if i were you, sender, i would scrap this entirely & start again, with 100% less sink, 100% less blur, & 1000% more effort.
thank you for submitting to critiquemydickpic.tumblr.com. your dick pic gets a C-.

I am completely in love with this site and wish I could just run a bunch of the pix here so you don't have to be clicking around, but Google gets a little peevish when I get too racy.  Do hop over, then tell me what you think. I welcome any and all dick pic stories you might send me as well.

xoxox
jill

ps yes I do appreciate the absurdity of kowtowing to Google's prudery while running afoul of Porky Pig's copyright holder.  Though I give part of the blame to him for not wearing pants.

pps.  And thanks to reader Mimi to directing my attention and a good part of my afternoon to this. 

Wednesday, 8 January 2014

Meiko - Reasons To Love You



My idea of a great night!!!


Man Writes Lengthy Complaint To Airline About Having To Sit Next To What He Thought Was An ‘Infant Hippopotamus’

I found this little piece of gold when a friend shared the link on Facebook, and just had to post it here for all of you to enjoy as well!


You're Welcome!





An airline passenger’s letter to the Australian airline that forced him to sit next to a man as fat as “an infant hippopotamus” who smelled like “blue cheese” and a “Mumbai slum” has gone viral due to its hilarious comparisons and eloquent fury.
According to Huffington Post UK, Rich Wisken wrote on a blog that he paid an extra $23 for an aisle seat on his flight from Perth to Sydney so he could have more room on his four-hour flight.
Instead, however, he found himself seated next to a morbidly obese man, pinning him to his seat like “a fleshy boulder.”
He tried to change seats but every empty space was taken up by passengers stretching themselves out for comfort.
“It was then I realised that my fate was sealed,” Wisken wrote to Jetstar airlines.
“I made my way back to Jabba the Hutt (the blob creature in Star Wars) and spent the remainder of the flight smothered in side-boob and cellulite, taking shallow breaths to avoid noxious gas poisoning.”
And if he wasn’t angry enough, Wisken found out two days later that a flight to Melbourne he booked with the same airline had been canceled.
The re-scheduled flight was canceled as well and the one after that was delayed for two hours.
After receiving the letter, Huffington Post UK reports, Jetstar emailed Wisken with an $87 voucher to compensate for the string of inconveniences.
“Awesome work, Jetstar!” he wrote in response.
“Two of my flights in the past two days have been cancelled. You’re so lucky that my favorite pastime is wasting both time and money getting to and from airports.
Imagine how annoyed someone who doesn’t LOVE wasting time and money would feel about this situation. Man, I’d hate to be that guy…”
The full letter can be found below.

Dear Jetstar,
Do you like riddles? I do, that’s why I’m starting this letter with one. What weighs more than a Suzuki Swift, less than a Hummer and smells like the decaying anus of a deceased homeless man? No idea? How about, what measures food portions in kilograms and has the personal hygiene of a French prostitute? Still nothing? Right, one more try. What’s fat as fuck, stinks like shit and should be forced to purchase two seats on a Jetstar flight? That’s right, it’s the man I sat next to under on my flight from Perth to Sydney yesterday.
As I boarded the plane, I mentally high-fived myself for paying the additional $25 for an emergency seat. I was imagining all that extra room, when I was suddenly distracted by what appeared to be an infant hippopotamus located halfway down the aisle. As I got closer, I was relieved to see that it wasn’t a dangerous semi-aquatic African mammal, but a morbidly obese human being. However, this relief was short-lived when I realised that my seat was located somewhere underneath him.
Soon after I managed to burrow into my seat, I caught what was to be the first of numerous fetid whiffs of body odour. His scent possessed hints of blue cheese and Mumbai slum, with nuances of sweaty flesh and human faeces sprayed with cologne - Eau No. Considering I was visibly under duress, I found it strange that none of the cabin crew offered me another seat. To be fair, it’s entirely possible that none of them actually saw me. Perhaps this photo will jog their memories.
Pinned to my seat by a fleshy boulder, I started preparing for a 127 Hours-like escape. Thankfully though, the beast moved slightly to his left, which allowed me to stand up, walk to the back of the plane and politely ask the cabin crew to be seated elsewhere. I didn’t catch the names of the three flight attendants, but for the purpose of this letter, I’ll call them: Chatty 1Chatty 2 and Giggly (I’ve given them all the same surname - Couldnotgiveashit). After my request, Chatty 1 and Chatty 2 continued their conversation, presumably about how shit they are at their jobs, and Giggly, well, she just giggled. I then asked if I could sit in one of the six vacant seats at the back of the aircraft, to which Giggly responded, “hehehe, they’re for crew only, hehehe“. I think Giggly may be suffering from some form of mental impairment.
I tried to relocate myself without the assistance of the Couldnotgiveashit triplets, but unfortunately everyone with a row to themselves was now lying down. It was then I realised that my fate was sealed. I made my way back to Jabba the Hutt and spent the remainder of the flight smothered in side-boob and cellulite, taking shallow breaths to avoid noxious gas poisoning. Just before landing, I revisited the back of the plane to use the toilet. You could imagine my surprise when I saw both “crew only” rows occupied by non-crew members. I can only assume Giggly let them sit there after she forgot who she was and why she’s flying on a big, shiny metal thing in the sky.
Imagine going out for dinner and a movie, only to have your night ruined by a fat mess who eats half your meal then blocks 50% of the screen. Isn’t that exactly the same as having someone who can’t control their calorie intake occupying half your seat on a flight? Of course it is, so that’s why I’m demanding a full refund of my ticket, including the $25 for an emergency row seat.
I’m also looking to be compensated for the physical pain and mental suffering caused by being enveloped in human blubber for four hours. My lower back is in agony and I had to type this letter one-handed as I’m yet to regain full use of my left side. If I don’t recover completely, I’ll have to say goodbye to my lifelong dream of becoming Air Guitar World Champion. If that occurs, you will pay.
To discuss my generous compensation package, email me at: richwisken@hotmail.com, or tweet me at: @RichWisken
No regards, Rich Wisken.

Via: Huffington Post UK, Top Photo Courtesy: Tumblr
 
 
                           

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Are your characters worth all that time?




Obsessed much?

As you may or may not know I have a slight (okay huge) obsession with watching movies. I usually favour comedy, romantic comedy, weird, left of centre and indy movies. I despise horror of any kind. I don't usually go for sci fi either or action as a rule but could be persuaded in the right mood. And in saying that, I have delved into this particular area before when I was a lot younger and didn't really have a particular type - 80's action movies with guns ablaze (probably due mostly to my dads influemce) all the Rocky movies (I can still remember the tune) Back to the Future and even the Star Wars trilogy.

Tonight I watched something playing on a local channel called The Wedding Date with Debrah Messing. I had seen it before but decided to relive the story and I am glad I did because I really enjoyed it. The songs were cool and the story line suited my mood for tonight.

I have recently joined a site called IMDb which basically focuses on every movie ever made, and I assume once I look into it more, I can use it to document all the movies I have ever watched, which if I am honest is a lot! I'll be sure to share that extensive list with you guys once I get it together.

I assume your wondering why in the hell I would take the time to go through and add all the movies I have ever watched - and I am going to tell you the answer.
As a writer of rom com books, contemporary romances if you will or chic lit, movies divulge a plethora of ideas and inspiration for me to feed my imagination as do the thousands of books I have read ( I have a list for those too on Goodreads.)

Anyway the whole point of this post was to share The Wedding Date quotes I found relevant to me - despite getting off track and rambling on about my movie watching history so here they are.
You're Welcome!!!

The Wedding Date

 
Single-girl anxiety causes Kat Ellis (Messing) to hire a male escort (Mulroney) to pose as her boyfriend at her sister's wedding. Her plan, an attempt to dupe her ex-fiancé, who dumped her a couple years prior, proves to be her undoing.

Director:

Writers:

(book), (screenplay)
 

Quote -

Nick Mercer: [pause] I'm allergic to fabric softener. I majored in comparative literature at Brown. I hate anchovies. And I think I'd miss you even if we never met.




The last statement is what its all about people!!!!!



Monday, 6 January 2014

Books in a forign land.....


Bedroom fantasy.....



Whilst thinking about doing a major home reno to include an office to die for (review previous posts to find out what I am planning) I am also considering transforming my bedroom into something just like this, probably with a bit more colour and a bigger bed but sort of like this but with a wardrobe full of shoes and fabulous clothes......

Another's skin, another's voice, another's soul.......


My super power


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